The instant the Big Bang burst to life, it heralded a barrage of boiling, bubbling globular clusters teaming with flickering flakes of gold, silver, platinum, plutonium, and pearls in every direction across the vast, virgin expanse where they eventually metamorphosed into billions of stars, and planets, and galaxies, and black holes. Behold, our Universe was born.

As I watched him run down the road and disappear over the horizon, his words got stuck in my head on an endless loop…I’m a nobody on the road to nowhere, with nothing to live for.

Mother pretended to be flattered by the new hunk of metal, but I knew better. She had many faults, but poor taste wasn’t one of them. Her love for the finer things in life was an addiction that needed constant feeding. She played a curious game, and I was intrigued to see how it would end.

He was a charlatan masquerading as a respected arbiter of moral values and virtues, peddling pious poison to vulnerable simpletons eager to believe that which is not believable.

I wasn’t sure if he was trying to be funny or clever with a back-handed insult about America’s Mickey Mouse, hamburgers, and chewing gum culture or if he was merely showing his admiration and appreciation towards a country that prevailed during the darkest hour only to resurrect a shattered society in partnership with the promised land. Where we were once foes, we’re now friends. Where there was once hatred, fear, and loathing, there’s now a begrudging submission underscored by repressed anxiety, envy, and resentment. Except, perhaps, in the beer halls late at night, when the talk is cheap, loud, and boisterous, and rhetoric is unimpeded and true.

He’s a clever one, that one. He’s here every morning, without fail, for the breakfast buffet bar, of course. But the funny thing is that he seems to be the only Gull discovering this smorgasbord of plump pigeons. It looks savage, but we all must do what we must to survive. Survival of the fittest. Eat or be eaten. Attack or be attacked. Live or die. It’s a damn harsh revelation, but that’s life, young man. I don’t know about you, but I certainly don’t relish being eaten alive. Do you?

Tuck leaped first and soared to the heavens like Icarus on his fateful journey to the sun.

Tuck, the Angel.

Tuck, the God.

Tuck, the Brave.

But even gods and angels are fallible.

Tuck tumbled back to earth in a twisted ball and hit the water with a thunderous crash.

I felt guilty; I mean, he probably didn’t mean to hurt me or anything. Maybe he just needed to feel someone, something, anything, to remind himself that he was alive.

“Have you ever thought about disappearing, like you never existed in the first place? Would anybody care or miss you? It’s like your life is inconsequential. I think about that all the time. I’m a nobody on the road to nowhere, with nothing to live for,” Asher said.

He stood there subdued, pale, and pathetic-looking. I never fully appreciated the depths of his despair and loneliness until that moment when I realized just how vulnerable and insecure he was. I shared many of the same thoughts, ideas, and doubts about myself, my life, my family, and my future, except Asher had the added pressure of shame, guilt, and paternal disappointment. He seemed trapped in a gilded cage, embracing his privileged imprisonment at the expense of truth and freedom.

At the pool’s far end were a couple of adult chaperons, oblivious to the rampant adolescent impudence on full display. Or maybe they noticed but preferred sipping on their Strawberry Daiquiris, comfortably numb and blissfully ignorant to the shameless illicit shenanigans like the delinquents cowering under the cover of darkness, smoking a joint, or the two naked boys skinny dipping in the pool, or the three girls chugging from a bottle of Smirnoff Vodka behind the bushes. Life can be perceptible until it’s not–it depends on how hard you want to look.

Graduation morning had finally arrived, and I slowly stretched and stirred awake in the heavy air, redolent with sweat and sulfur. My sheets felt alive as they slithered tightly around my body like a mummy being prepared for eternal internment. Struggling was futile and only entangled me deeper and tighter into the Gordian knot’s grip.

“Don’t you dare! It’s not your time,” a familiar voice said.

When I opened my eyes, I saw a sinister-looking shadow scurry across the walls before ominously perching above my head.

“Good morning, Ryan. Your chariot awaits,” Death said.

“To where?”

“Why, to the ceremony, of course.”

“Which ceremony?”

“To the grandest ceremony of them all.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“I’m afraid you have little choice.”

“Do you want to harm me?”

“I only want what’s best for you.”

“Then why torture and torment me as you do?”

“You punish yourself enough without my help.”

“I don’t believe you. You’re a fake and a liar, just like everyone else!”

“Follow your instincts, and your inherent nature will blossom.”

“My nature?”

“You deny yourself the truth with such determination that you can no longer distinguish between reality and fantasy. What are you afraid of?”

“Nothing.”

“Then embrace the metamorphosis–be free. Live because you will die. But not today. Or tomorrow. You still have time to enjoy your life, but living is not forever. Nothing is forever, not even death.”

“Break free from what?”

“Free from worry and accountability, at least until judgment day.”

“When will that be?”

“When your vision fades, and you notice a sharp piercing pain in your lower spine that metastasizes, rendering you paralyzed. But all your aches, pains, and ailments will merely be the welcoming party, escorting you to the main event…me.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“My mere existence alone should terrorize you, so I do not need to threaten you, but then again, I may be lying. Trust me, at your peril or not. But I don’t see that you have much choice.”

“Have I ever had a choice?”

“Word of advice, my dear friend. Slow down; it’s a long race to finish, and you must learn to pace yourself. Rest assured, I’ll be waiting for you at the end with open arms.”

I lay there motionless, questioning the futile nature of living, knowing the inevitable awaited regardless of my desperate longing to the contrary. Irrespective of circumstances, we’re all headed in the same direction, to the same destination. Death…the great equalizer.